naked painting & dinosaur fishing

...both things i have yet to do. but elias, on the other hand, has done both the past two days.

elias is the 3 and a half year old son of kyle and dennis.
over the past 6 weeks i have done everything with this kid...he's more like a brother than a cute kid (although he is pretty darn cute).
we've played together, boogied together, surfed together, road-tripped together, drank coffee together (yes, he likes coffee), ate meals, gone to birthday parties, looked for crabs, taken pictures, made little videos, danced, sang, and the list could go on.

we've ALSO gotten in fights.
well...more like he's gotten mad at me, said mean things, tried to hurt me by scratching/punching/kicking...like i said, he's more a brother now :).
but come on, elias has been sharing his home, his parents, and his life with me...as an only child, i understand the jealousy he's felt and expressed.

but that isn't the point really...let's go back to the naked painting and dinosaur fishing; the more important part of this post.

being around elias and kyle being pregnant and getting to be in nature 24-7 and living the simple life along with other things have reminded me just how INCREDIBLE and CREATIVE God is.

there is a HUMAN inside of kyle. WHAT THE HECK?! a living, moving, breathing, wonderful little girl (sandy to be exact) growing within another human. unreal.

the ocean tides are really extreme here. high tide has the biggest waves and the water meets the edge of properties. low tide reveals lots of rocks and a little tide pools with fish. there have been some amazing thunder and lightning storms since i've been here...so powerful that the whole house shakes and the rain pelts the tin roof. i wake up to mccaws (big huge red parrots) and roosters crowing and waves crashing EVERY single day. i get to see iguanas, pelicans, and monkeys all the time in the trees surrounding our house. there are geckos always on the walls of my room.

i eat beans and rice almost every single day (lately with avocado fresh from the tree in our yard). no appointments are needed to hang out with people, it just happens, and often over coffee (i can't complain about that). i get to spend time with God that is without pressure or stress or guilt to move onto the next thing. time is dedicated to people and being. ministry happens as life happens. it is simple and organic.

God is in every little piece of the aforementioned aspects of life.

and God likes to see creativity...whether painting naked (like elias did yesterday) or fishing for dinosaurs (which elias did today).

i have had a lot of opportunities to see beauty, experience beauty, and capture beauty creatively while i've been here...something i wouldn't usually have time for at home. whether surfing, painting, taking pictures, being with people, watching a naked kid paint...there is so much freedom in creativity and it all is glorifying to God.

there are only a few days left in my trip here.
i'm ready to go home but not necessarily ready to leave ya know?

there are a billion things i'll be taking back with me, including long-term relationships...even if i don't get to see everyone for awhile...

it is amazing to see what God will do through authentic relationships over time if you just make yourself available to be used naturally...without forcing things. my relationships here are firmly established. the people will be the hardest thing to leave behind.

my time in costa rica can be summed up in this:
naked painting & dinosaur fishing.
the beauty and creativity and humor and love and relationship and freedom and life that is available to us every day.

i can't wait to bring naked painting and dinosaur fishing back home.
lessons learned and lessons that will not be forgotten.

FLEAesta.

ya know...like fiesta? FLEAesta? get it? get it?
ha.

have you ever noticed that fleas know how to party? i mean come on--once you get over how annoying they are, you realize that they are living the life.

think about it:

they get to travel ANYWHERE they want for FREE!
(i promise that a couple will be traveling back to california with me in about a week and i won't even see them)
they've got hops and moves.
(one second they are invisible, the next they're doing crazy moves all over my feet and legs...lakers should recruit...)
they get community 24-7.
(fleas are always together. it is a guaranteed party wherever fleas are...you can bet they aren't alone)
they are in good moods no matter where they are.
(hiding in wood panels, cruising on the back of a dog, getting stepped on while hanging out in a rug...they still keep right on partying...)
they can't die
(okay so maybe that's a SLIGHT exaggeration, but come on...it's pretty hard to get rid of them...which means for them they don't have to ever worry about their friends...they'll never suffer harm...ha.)
though small they've got power
(have you SEEN the expressions on people's faces when they hear that there are fleas? they have the ability to get anything they want...)
they can party even when everyone and everything around them is miserable.
(their lives are smooooooth sailin'. doesn't matter how people are feeling, they are still able to live it up themselves)

how did i become an expert on fleas?
we have them. everywhere.
...and fiestas too.

i've been to lots of different styles of parties and celebrations since i've been here! 2 birthday parties, a wedding, a going away party, just to name a few. but people don't really need parties as an excuse to get together. it just kind of happens...always.

it is unusual to go a day without having any person stop by at all...in fact, i don't think that has ever happened since i've been here.

and each time it is like a fiesta...there are goodies, drinks, stories, laughter, and the enjoyment of the company of others.

the reason for the fiesta?
just to live life with the people around you.

isn't it a beautiful thing?
something i want to intentionally bring home...
...which won't be hard having summer additions to our family :)

God has given us people in our neighborhoods, at our jobs, in our communities to love (and also care for). why do we keep our doors shut and gates locked? are we protecting ourselves or just keeping people away?

being in community is risky...any relationship is.
but it is so worth it, and how we were created to live.

i guess i should take a lesson from the fleas...

[1]

one.
the first number of the numeric system.

sometimes i feel bad for one.
all alone.
no community.
little power.
just one.

being in costa rica i have a new respect for one.
i've realized in being here that one can do a lot.

here are some examples:

one bug bite, no matter how small still itches and is still annoying.
one tiny infection inside your ear can be painful and keep you out of the water for 5 or more days, sometimes causing sleep deprivation.
one mango squished up on the sidewalk always smells terrible (in my opinion).
one beetle crawling on your head in the middle of the night can really get someone to spazz and throw it across the room.
one cup of strong costa rican coffee can really get your system moving...if you know what i mean...
one dog that gets overly excited and barks a lot about water or anything that moves can get old after awhile.

(those are supposed to be funny... :))

but on the other hand...

one house in one community with one family can bring great change to people with the power, direction, and LOVE of one God.
one time of playing and teaching volleyball can turn into a trusting relationship.
one question can turn into an intimate conversation.
one camera can bring excitement and smiles to whoever is behind it or in front of it.
one good wave can be a great moment.
one time showing that you care can lead to a long-term relationship.
one email can lead to God's plan unfolding.
one smile can make someone else's day.
one conversation can be a great learning moment.
one hug can speak great love.

uno.

the great thing about one is the one plus one is no longer one.

one really isn't so innocent and powerless is it?
one can change the world in time.
isn't that what Jesus did?
i like living one moments.
i have had a lot of them here, and each is unique and special and beautiful for its own reason.

one is especially important to me today, may 18th.

one year.

today marks the one year anniversary of my relationship with tony benjamin taylor, known to most of you as tj, known to me more dearly as teejer.

so much can happen with one year.
adventures, laughter, growth, learning, struggles, pain, memories, new experiences, travel, beauty, and of course a greater appreciation and understanding of love.
i am so thankful for each one moment, each one day, each one month, that has led to this one year.
one tj taylor.
and i get to date him.
wow.

life with one is such a wonderful thing. a miracle really.
one is a miracle.

miracles are happening all around us.
one can make all the difference.
appreciate one today.
i know i do.

home.

for the first time since i've been here i wanted more than anything to be home on monday night.

anjelica and alex vargas both go to our church. alex is in 8th grade and anjelica was in our youth group but just finished her freshman year at apu. they have been adopted into our family over the past couple of years since they come from a single parent home where their mom is having to work a lot to support them. their dad was killed by a drunk driver when they were both little.

monday night i found out that their mom died unexpectedly on sunday night, mother's day, they think of a heart attack.

everyone is heart broken for them and grieving with them in this tragic loss.
i wish i could be home to comfort them.

anyone who knows me knows of anjelica. she is very dear to my heart.
this news hurt me so much...but i can't imagine what they must be thinking and feeling right now.

please pray for them and their family.
i believe there is power in prayer...and as a community of believers we are called to rally on behalf of those who need it. so will you join me?

this whole thing makes my last blog so much more real...life or death.
we have to choose.

thanks for the continued thoughts and prayers. things are still going well...minus a minor ear infection which i would love prayer for.

i feel like i've been here for months...although it has only been two and half weeks. that's a good feeling i suppose...this is like home...this is familiar...this is good. i don't necessarily want to leave but i do want to go home as well. the time will be right. God's timing always is...

LIFE happens.

Life happens wherever you are, and you have the opportunity daily to participate in life or miss out on something great, something beautiful, something powerful.

Whether caught up in busyness or free to do with your day (almost) whatever you want, you can choose death…or you can choose life. It might be a significant decision, it might be in something small, or maybe it isn’t even your choice in some moments…like the day I was born.

Death or life.

Today is Mother’s Day, and I could not be more honored to have the mother that I have, Debra Lynne Walkemeyer. She risked her life and almost died for me, I was dead and brought back to life. Only a great woman full of love, compassion, mercy, and grace would give up so much for someone she had yet to meet…Thank you Mama. I could not have more respect and love for such a God-fearing, powerful, humble, creative, gracious, unique, beautiful, well-spoken, and big-hearted woman. You amaze me daily. She is someone who always chooses life. I hope to be more like her.

Life or death.

There are so many people around me in Costa Rica and at home that are models of walking death. Some of them are followers of Christ, yet are slowly dying by their choice to live in their fears, their failures, the things that slowly choke and suffocate them. I am not immune. Then there are those that do not have a relationship with Jesus and are living in two kinds of death, death on a daily basis, and eternal death.

Being in Costa Rica has opened my eyes to the reality of life and death in a new way. Prior to coming here there were things in my own life that were leading me toward death. I was trapped in fear, negativity, mistrust, pride, individualism, and much more. Although I am surely not completely free of those things, being in Esterillos with the Leon’s has opened my eyes to the prevalence of these issues and forced me to face them in a restorative way. It has caused me to see how although having the hope of life everlasting, my life on daily basis has looked more like death.

As followers of Christ we are called to set an example by word and by deed, to live a life worthy of our calling. What does this mean? Living a full life, embracing the freedom that we have been given through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, and sharing that (usually) without words in the way we express our love for God and our love for people, and our humble service to both.

It is truly amazing to me how full, free, and rich my life is here in Costa Rica. My days are consumed with the youth hanging out at the house, reading books for school that are so informative (and being able to really learn from them), spending more time in prayer and in the word, having natural, life-giving conversations about life and ministry, surfing, being creative, and enjoying the glorious nature that surrounds me…and all done in community.

I am having fun here. I am growing here. I am relaxed here. I am free here.
THIS IS LIFE.
I want to live free.
I want to live.
I choose to live.

Will you join me?
I dare you.

aloe vera

aloe vera is a funny plant.
it ALMOST looks like it could be in the cactus family with its long hard green pointy leaves with little spikes running down either side.
but underneath that hard, defensive surface lies healing in an ooey gooey clear form.

i got a 2 inch sunburn on my lower back where my rashguard kept coming up on my back. that fresh aloe vera was the perfect solution for a painful situation...just like this practicum.

last friday i hit a bump in the road. i was feeling lonely, somewhat useless, and not sure if being here was what a practicum is supposed to be.

a couple days later i had the chance to talk with my parents and tj for an hour or so and they definitely helped to put things back in perspective. i am NOT doing nothing on this trip. i am NOT having a nice 6 week vacation in costa rica. i do NOT need to feel guilty for this experience that is exactly what i need. i AM learning to be.

and as the great bobby clinton always reminds us: "ministry flows out of BEING and not DOING".

and that is the exact kind of ministry that must happen in my life and the lives of the people around me. i am BEING who God created me to be...and that is the most important ministry that ANYBODY could commit time to. if i cannot BE than i cannot DO.

relationships are definitely being built between myself, the leon family, and the youth here. my spanish is a little rusty but hey...i can definitely get by and hang out a in a crowd which is just what i need. everything happens here just by living life alongside the people. everything happens out of BEING and is so much more authentic and transformational.

i have had some amazing few days journaling, reading mi biblia, actually enjoying books i have to read for this practicum and gleaning a wealth of information from them, surfing, having wonderful conversations with dennis and kyle, relaxing, sipping coffee and praying while sitting on the deck looking down at the beach from where our house sits, collecting shells, taking pictures, playing volleyball with some of the youth, and helping out whenever possible. call it what you want...us here call it ministry :)...and it really truly is.

after the conversation with my parents and tj, everything has been put back into perspective, and i know i can enjoy every second here in peace that i am doing exactly what God needs me to do right now, and it IS ministry and IS something. we forget how important that is in the midst of busyness at home. i am taking advantage of it as much as possible.

this practicum is aloe vera.
that's right. it may look like something totally different to the people on the outside, but what this practicum holds is the healing that i need emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually.

i am becoming whole again.
i am becoming who i am again.

if not for this time i would not have time to fully learn, grow, change, deal with insecurities, fears, denial, health, focus on what is important, and take little steps of faith in all sorts of situations and opportunities i have here.

i like aloe vera.
i think coming into this time i was pretty sunburnt.
God knew...God heals...

becoming whole: lindseyann.

en todo paz.

like i promised i won't be blogging everyday since this is the first time i've had internet since LAST time i posted :)

so much has happened...yet...so little too? in short i've met lots of people, gone to two soccer games, improved in my spanish (although i've got a LONG way to go), had God answer lots of little prayers, surfed twice, played at the beach a little, PAINTED A SURFBOARD as the sign for the church (creative outlet? yes please! i was SO honored to do this...), taken a nap here and there...once in the hammock outside :), saw monkeys in the trees by the house, journaled, finished a book for school already, spent good times with God, wrote notes, played with elias and had lots and lots of good conversations with kyle and dennis.

one of the things that kyle and dennis are really big on is the idea of relational, organic ministry. this means that when dennis is working on construction on their house, and kyle is taking care of elias and doing receipts, etc. i am not supposed to feel guilty for spending time resting, journaling, and doing my school work. things happen as they come and there is nothing wrong with NOT having a daily set schedule "doing" ministry 24-7. BOTH are great...and right now is the season for me to BE ministry not DO ministry. it will definitely be picking up...i can already sense that...but for now, God knew that what i needed most right now is rest and refreshment while helping kyle and dennis as much as possible and taking time to learn and ENJOY learning and growing since i don't have the same stresses as at home. sometimes it is an adjustment but i sense God so near and placing such a peace over me that it is a wonderful change!

today we had breakfast again with dennis' mom at her home in jaco. currently they're at the ferria (farmer's market) and i am checking all my internet stuff. right after this we are on our way to a surf contest close by, the national finals which 4 of the guys that the leon's know are surfing. lots of sun today and an opportunity to take sweeeeeet pictures! woohoo!!! we have the competition tomorrow too, then church sunday morning and my FIRST time attending pura vida church (the house church the leon's are starting which has mostly youth right now) on sunday night. it'll be an eventful weekend :)!

continue praying for God opportunities. i have had little ones here and there but i know that it will happen with time as my relationships with some of the students grow. pray for the leon's and all of the continued details with kyle's pregnancy and their recent move. pray for our protection and covering. pray for strength energy and to be filled with love and life that can only come from Christ. pray for my continued focus on growing and learning through my books and time with God.

i definitely miss everyone, but still feel so at home and so much peace that i can't help but remain calm and relaxed knowing i am being held by my loving MOTHER in heaven (God has both male AND female attributes :)).

pura vida!! mucho amor!

lindsey ann.