aloe vera is a funny plant.
it ALMOST looks like it could be in the cactus family with its long hard green pointy leaves with little spikes running down either side.
but underneath that hard, defensive surface lies healing in an ooey gooey clear form.
i got a 2 inch sunburn on my lower back where my rashguard kept coming up on my back. that fresh aloe vera was the perfect solution for a painful situation...just like this practicum.
last friday i hit a bump in the road. i was feeling lonely, somewhat useless, and not sure if being here was what a practicum is supposed to be.
a couple days later i had the chance to talk with my parents and tj for an hour or so and they definitely helped to put things back in perspective. i am NOT doing nothing on this trip. i am NOT having a nice 6 week vacation in costa rica. i do NOT need to feel guilty for this experience that is exactly what i need. i AM learning to be.
and as the great bobby clinton always reminds us: "ministry flows out of BEING and not DOING".
and that is the exact kind of ministry that must happen in my life and the lives of the people around me. i am BEING who God created me to be...and that is the most important ministry that ANYBODY could commit time to. if i cannot BE than i cannot DO.
relationships are definitely being built between myself, the leon family, and the youth here. my spanish is a little rusty but hey...i can definitely get by and hang out a in a crowd which is just what i need. everything happens here just by living life alongside the people. everything happens out of BEING and is so much more authentic and transformational.
i have had some amazing few days journaling, reading mi biblia, actually enjoying books i have to read for this practicum and gleaning a wealth of information from them, surfing, having wonderful conversations with dennis and kyle, relaxing, sipping coffee and praying while sitting on the deck looking down at the beach from where our house sits, collecting shells, taking pictures, playing volleyball with some of the youth, and helping out whenever possible. call it what you want...us here call it ministry :)...and it really truly is.
after the conversation with my parents and tj, everything has been put back into perspective, and i know i can enjoy every second here in peace that i am doing exactly what God needs me to do right now, and it IS ministry and IS something. we forget how important that is in the midst of busyness at home. i am taking advantage of it as much as possible.
this practicum is aloe vera.
that's right. it may look like something totally different to the people on the outside, but what this practicum holds is the healing that i need emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually.
i am becoming whole again.
i am becoming who i am again.
if not for this time i would not have time to fully learn, grow, change, deal with insecurities, fears, denial, health, focus on what is important, and take little steps of faith in all sorts of situations and opportunities i have here.
i like aloe vera.
i think coming into this time i was pretty sunburnt.
God knew...God heals...
becoming whole: lindseyann.
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could you pass along some of that healing goodness when you're through? i could use some myself :)
ReplyDeletehmmm love your insight girlfriend! I like aloe vera... that oozy stuff is fun and healing! I hope this practicum encompasses some fun amidst that healing! So excited for you, praying for you, thinking about you and HOPING to skype with you soon! Love love love!
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